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Why female dating is binary, fewer blogs, submissions encouraged.

I’m going to write fewer posts regarding what women can do to improve their dating lives for two specific reasons:

1) I’m a man, and at this particular time in history women do not seem particularly keen on hearing what men have to say about dating, sex, and relationships. Indeed, I’m sure I’ve had the term “mansplaining” applied to my person, even though that has never been my intention (ironic and somewhat disturbing that our misogynistic subculture is leading to the creation of a misandrous subculture).

Understand: I don’t presume to know more than women about dating, or what it’s like to be a woman. I’m simply trying to offer my perspective as a member of the opposite sex. Hopefully that’s been helpful. If not, I apologize, I guess? But more so:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2) For women, dating is somewhat binary, as in: either enough suitable men (and what that means is obviously different from woman to woman) are interested in her… or not.

As a consequence, I’ve decided to write less about dating strategies for women for the same reason there are very few female dating coaches and matchmakers: if a woman is calibrated to enjoy the company of the men she naturally attracts (or meets through social media and SOD), she doesn’t need advice—she probably has more than enough options.

On the other hand, if she’s not, there’s little that can be done, because it means that either she’s expecting to date the sort of man she’s incapable of attracting, or is too shy/passive to actually date them—in which case what can you say?

Get in better shape.

Be less picky.

Don’t be so busy.

Communicate like an adult.

Go out and be more aggressive.

But if you say those things you sound like an asshole and I do that enough anyway without setting myself up for it (I should mention that I’ve done all those things above and it works).

For comparison’s sake, dating is highly variable for men. I touched on this in a podcast but I’ll elaborate here: for men–unlike women–being really, really good looking alone is not enough. In fact, being rich is not enough. No, for a man to be an attractive mate, he has to have a combination of three things:

  1. Looks
  2. Wealth/Status
  3. Game/Confidence

What’s interesting is that of all the above, game and confidence matter most, and there’s a tremendous amount men can learn in that realm to help them attract women. Additionally, whereas men start on level 0/10 when it comes to game, women–on average–start on level 5/10. The other piece to that is that girl game doesn’t matter as much, because when women are awkward it’s actually kind of cute, whereas when men are awkward, y’all usually find it “creepy”.

So yeah: I’ll be writing fewer posts on female dating strategies (unless there’s some sort of epic outcry).

However, I welcome submissions from female readers about their experience in this crazy world of modern dating, and if any of y’all want to sit in and do a podcast with me sometime, get in touch and we’ll make it happen.

One caveat on that: I’m not going to publish posts whose focus is complaining about men and/or are misandrous in nature (see required reading). Stories are always good–especially if they’re funning–and some venting of frustrations about men is totally fine and probably healthy, but the overall goal of the blog is to offer actionable strategies, tactics, and advice to help people find their purpose and live better lives. It’s usually the case that complaining is the opposite of that, because it excuses people from taking responsibility for their own lives. Something to keep in mind when submitting.

Anyway, much love and hope to hear from you ladies soon!

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