A Message to Victims of Domestic Abuse: It’s OK to Walk Away.

I know it’s hard.

You had such high hopes, and things started out so well.

He was successful. Charming. Said all the right things. He was so funny. Endearing. Exciting. For more than a year you thought he was the one.


But somewhere along the line it started to unravel.

He stopped following through on his promises. His behavior became erratic and inconsistent. He was often late—or worse, a no show. And to cover he became dishonest. He’d lie. Sometimes innocent ones you could ignore, but the pattern was disturbing. And he became more and more obsessed with his ego, getting irritated and sometimes irate over the slightest misperceptions or misunderstandings.

But every time you thought about moving on, he’d show up with flowers and a Muslim ban and take you to dinner. He’d transform back into the man you fell in love with, if only for an evening. And it gave you hope.


Plus, you’ve always been loyal. You’ve always given people the benefit of the doubt. Always assumed their best intentions.

But it’s come to a point where you have to admit, finally, that the relationship is in crisis—at times you even wonder if he’s using drugs or has become mentally ill—and he refuses to acknowledge his increasingly bizarre behavior. In fact, whenever you confront him about it, he starts ranting and raving, accusing you and anyone else around of trying to attack him and lashing out, sometimes physically.

I understand how hard it is, but I just want you to know: it’s OK to walk away. You don’t deserve this abuse and it’s only going to get worse.

Again, it’s OK to walk away.


Indeed, it’s probably the only way he’ll realize he needs help. That his behavior is unacceptable.

And I get it: breakups are hard. Difficult. Heartbreaking. But at some point you have to have enough respect for yourself to walk away. It may seem selfish after all you’ve been through, but a time comes when enough is enough—when you can’t save someone from their behavior.

A time when all you can do is walk away.

And let me say, when you finally tell Donald Trump it’s over, the majority of Americans who’ve already moved on from his trainwreck of a presidency will be there to offer you help, comfort, and solace.

I can see you’re hesitant. I know that even suggesting this probably makes you upset with me. And I know Breitbart, Drudge, Fox, and InfoWars are all telling you to stick it out. So’s Milo, bless his pedophile heart. But ask yourself this: what does your heart tell you? How many promises has he broken now?


Remember draining the swamp? Instead he’s filled his cabinet with billionaire donors, lobbyists, and more than half-a-dozen Goldman Sachs bankers.

Remember protecting Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security? Trump put a guy in charge of health and human services who wants to gut these programs for the benefit of Wall Street and rich donors (Tom Price).

And what about his attacks on crooked Hillary for using a private email server? His administration is currently doing the same exact thing, he still uses a super hackable android phone, and a few weeks ago he was discussing strategy and sensitive intelligence while sitting at a dinner table in Mar-a-Lago.


I know there was a time when he made you feel special—when you thought you really mattered to him. But that’s how abusers are: they convince their victims they care, even as they’re manipulating them for their own purposes.

Trump told us all he was going to make America great again—and who doesn’t want that? We understand why you fell in love with him. I mean, who doesn’t love themselves some barn-burning speeches and an endless list of empty promises? It was exciting—even for MSNBC, CNN, and the failing NY Times. But we also saw his flaws. The deeply scarred insecurity emanating from every misguided tweet. Every racist tirade. Every attack upon hallowed American institutions. Which is why we tried to separate the two of you–to put an end to a romance we knew couldn’t last.

Nevertheless, you chose him, hoping for the best. And now you continue to stick by him, optimistic to the end.

But the end is here, isn’t it? If not it will be soon, because from all appearances, it seems our president is more concerned with profiting from his office than working in it. And this, of course, is to say nothing of his administration’s shady connections to Russia or the fact he still won’t release his taxes

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But I digress.

Like any relationship, this is a deeply personal decision. In many ways, we know you still love him. We just hope that at some point, you’ll realize the only person he loves is himself. That what he’s doing to you is wrong.

Then, finally, you’ll walk away.

And when you do, we’ll be here with open arms.

Is that nice enough for you Sabrina?

Obviously this is satire, but in all seriousness, if you find yourself in an abusive relationship, contact counselors, the police, family, or friends who can help. Make sure you’re safe, but still, the message of this piece remains true: it’s OK to walk away. God bless!

If you like the above, check out my new novel Cherry City Pulp! An awkward, sexy, funny, and sometimes violent story about relationships, sex, high school, and young people growing up in Oregon, chock full of satire and social commentary. Also, please help us out by making a donation on our website ChuckingRocks.com. Every dollar counts. If you can’t make a donation at this time, the other way you can help is to spread the word–so please, like, share, email, tweet, and/or retweet our posts. Remember to follow me on twitter @Chuckingrocks or email me: chuckingrocks.com@gmail.com.

About The Author: Jay Scott


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