The State of Ted Nugent

The President just stole my idea!  The idea I gave Republicans!  IN THE LAST BLOG!!!

It appears that, if I’m not mistaken, the President of the United States, Barack Obama, reads my blog.   Where’s my check?  Or how about an endorsement?  I mean no one even likes my offensive Facebook blog advertisements.  Oh well…

So, as far as to the speech, I’d have to say that anyone who disagrees with anything he’s said, in principle, is a motherfucking idiot.  The speech isn’t over, but so far, so good.

Two thoughts I had about Republicans today: 1) they are dumb shits.  I read two articles today about how insane Ted Nugent is (who I really want to fight, but in a suit and mask that protects my balls and face—because that fucker WILL play dirty);  one was saying what an idiot the guy was who decided to bring him (Nugent said last year that if Obama was re-elected he’d be dead or in jail by this time); and the other was saying what a batshit crazy lunatic he is, but how there are a ton of Republican politicians and regulars that are just as kooky.

—OH COME ON OBAMA!  The Republicans are totally going to slam you for wanting to round up loose nukes—what an idiot!—

Sorry.  Anyhow, wouldn’t it be awesome if instead of John Boehner, there was an old black woman behind him yelling, “Mmmmmm-hmmmmmm.  Oh n’you di-in’t Mitch!  Don’t come at me wit dat spendin’ cuts noncents—Ay’ve scene where yoo bin!”

Man, he’s blowing it—no one likes it when people save 20 babies from Superstorm Sandy—and no one likes old black ladies trying to vote either.  The Confederates are going to eat him up for that.

By the way, I’ve decided that’s the Republican Party’s new name until they officially stop discriminating against anyone whose different—they’re now the Confederate Party.  You can turn off your TV too, because it’s over, and it’s not worth listening to the commentators—anyone who thinks they should just get to constantly judge people and be loved for doing it is an asshole.

Anyway, 2) Republicans need to weed the racists and idiots out of their party, or at least train them—because in the end, if you really want to hate people, I don’t care, and technically it’s your right, but its not OK to hate them as a part of your political platform, and its horrifyingly worse if you try to enact hate into law.  That’s why Republicans lose blacks, Latinos, and women—they’ve made wealthy-white-heterosexual-Christian males into gods, and hating everyone else official practice and policy.

Consider the story of how the Elephants tried to strip welfare away from poor people in Florida, by requiring drug tests of anyone on the government dole.  It failed of course, because something like 98% of the people passed the tests—which must have totally blown the minds of the Confederate Republicans, who think that anyone poor enough to need welfare must be a horrible, drug addicted, lazy sop.  Inconveniently, it also ended up costing the state of Florida money.  So now, instead of readjusting their views, and oh, I don’t know, trying to help the poor as Christ suggests in the fucking Bible, they’ve decided to do the same thing in North Dakota—only now those who want welfare have to pay for the tests themselves.  To quote my source’s last paragraph, “Assholes.”

Oh, and Marco Rubio’s response to Obama’s speech was just more of the same: “capitalism good, government bad.”  Chris Matthews went so far as to call it, “primitive.”  And to be honest, it was.  Rubio merely rehashed the same wienery arguments Romney just lost on; the same arguments that the American people clearly rejectedin 2012.  What’s really disappointing is that it was the typical Republican strategy of lie, mischaracterize, and distort the things my opponents say, so that dumb people are more likely to agree with my message.  And that is really what the Confederate Party is today—a cacophony of bad messaging that all bears witness to one of three logical fallacies: the Red Herring (distract people by making the primary argument about something else), the Straw Man (mischaracterize my opponent’s argument to be weaker and/or different than what it actually is), and the Ad Hominem attack (Obama’s a socialist, Marxist, Maoist, terrorist, muslim, so we shouldn’t listen to word he says).

In a broader sense, according to Steve Benen, “Rubio’s entire pitch was incoherent gibberish. He thinks President Obama is hostile to free enterprise and wants to increase the deficit, neither of which makes any sense. Rubio thinks the housing crisis was caused by big government, which is simply idiotic. Rubio celebrates his family’s history of dependence on government social programs like student loans and Medicare, while articulating a policy agenda that guts government social programs like student loans and Medicare…The senator even thinks that combating the climate crisis means asking government to ‘control the weather’ which is just genuinely dumb.”

HA!  Couldn’t have said it better myself: what a fucking idiot!

At the same time, I submit that as a teacher in Oregon who is currently teaching—like, in a real classroom filled with nearly 40 kids—I really hate PERS.

About The Author: Jay Scott


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