The Parade of Ass Clowns Continues

I listen to liberal talk radio, so I’ve heard it about a hundred times, but did anyone else hear what Herman Cain said about the Occupy Wall St. protesters?  I actually don’t even care about what he said, even though it was ridiculous (“if your poor and you don’t have a job, don’t blame the banks, blame yourself!” or something to that tune), it was how he prefaced his statement.  “Now,” he said, “I don’t have any facts to back this up, but…”

Seriously?  I don’t have any facts, but I’m going to go ahead and slander a bunch of people I don’t know anyway?  Maybe that should just be the slogan of the Republican party, because as it happens, facts don’t support any of their policies or beliefs.  And just to make it easier for them, I’ve gone ahead and written a sample speech that Republicans can go ahead and use for the upcoming election year:

“Now, I don’t have any facts to back this up, but I think cutting taxes with help solve our economic problems, probably.  I also believe we should relax regulations on Wall St. and the energy industry.  Do I have data that suggests this will actually help the economy?  No, but I believe it anyway.  Look, I don’t like to rely on fancy pants professors or pointy headed experts for my information about Obamacare—I just know I don’t like it, because some guy named Bill told me that it kills jobs, and it has “Obama” as part of the name.  Scientists say we’re experiencing climate change—well I say “phooee!”  It still snows in the winter, don’t it?  Where I come from we tell the wind speed by peeing into the wind and seeing how wet you get, not by using some new fangled windometer…so, vote Republican this fall, not because you like to listen to a bunch of facts or cause you have any reasons, but just because you feel like it will make your life better…maybe.”

Hmmm…now that is just the kind of person I want to make decisions for a country mired in complex economic, social and political problems: an idiot.  It’s funny when we think about him riding around on his ranch, but it is tragic when they serve in public office.

Which leads me to the Republican debates.  They are getting huge ratings, by the way, which doesn’t really prove anything except that it is hard to turn away from a train wreck.  I mean, what a fucking mess of people they have up there.  Not one of them stands a chance against Obama, not because he’s so strong, but because everyone on the stage is just a huge bumbling ass-clown.

Romney is that guy who tries really hard to be social and make friends, and ends up trying too hard.  Need an example?  Watch some of the guys they put on “Millionaire Matchmaker.”  If you are that wealthy and you can’t meet women, you are probably awkward as a three legged dog humping a fire hydrant, which pretty much applies straight across the board to Romney winning political office.  If he does get the nomination, he’ll have to run away from his one decent accomplishment (Romneycare in Massachusetts), and worse, he’ll have to explain to the country how he earned his millions by engineering corporate takeovers and destroying American jobs.  I’m sure that is going to go over real well.

Cain is just an idiot.  And his 9-9-9 plan is horribly regressive, and all he can say when people point that out to him is some ridiculously contrived statement about apples and oranges, or else he just denies the facts.

“Mr. Cain, don’t you realize that this would raise taxes drastically on the working poor and middle class?”

“No, it wouldn’t.  I disagree with those findings.  Apples and oranges.”

“…”

Perry?  He is a terrible debater, but not only that, he’s a terrible governor.  His record is full of corruption, malfeasance, and lies.  Plus let’s face it, we already had a governor from Texas, and that was awful.

Bachman is no better–like Cain, she just lies when she has to face the facts, and she is so crazy that her campaign managers quit on her constantly.  And she’s an idiot.

The only rational and decent candidate the Republicans have is John Huntsman, but he is polling at 1%.  He said that Republicans ought not be the anti-science party…how dare he!

It’s comical that Republicans and members of the press sit and wonder why they don’t have a stronger field to choose from, because it’s actually pretty simple.  Anyone who is willing to deny climate change and evolution, thinks more tax cuts and deregulation is a good idea in a country with a huge revenue problem and massive wealth inequality, thinks that corporations are people, is a chronic liar, and on top of it, hates women, children, teachers, unions, and the government as an entity (yet ironically, wants to play the biggest role in such an institution), is probably either a huge fucking idiot, a complete psychopath, or both.

See, by wrapping themselves so thoroughly in hate, and denying both reason and science, Republicans have created a litmus test that by definition, eliminates anyone with a shred of intelligence, dignity, or morals from running for public office as a candidate of their party.  That’s too bad, because I think America would benefit greatly from having a party on the right that could run a rational candidate that was actually prepared to deal with this nation’s problems.  But alas…

As it is, we have a “do-nothing” Republican party that is hell bent on preventing the economy from recovering in the foolish hope that this will help them win the White House in 2012.  It’s a cynical, immoral premise to begin with, and I for one, think it is horrifying that these people are willing to put aside their constitutional duties to try to win an election.

But I guess if there is any silver lining, it’s this: it’s not going to work.  With this Republican field, pollsters might as go well start phrasing their questions like this: “In an election between Democratic President Barrack Obama and a complete Ass Clown, who would you vote for?”

About The Author: Jay Scott

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