Hypocrites, Idiots, and Earmuffs

We heard it before the election: “makers vs. takers” and “the 47%.”  Republicans, essentially, trying to vindicate their spurious claims that Obama was a “socialist,” began to frame the national conversation as if Democrats and the people who voted for them were dependents and takers (read: black and brown people), whereas Republicans were the independent, responsible, tax paying citizens (read: upstanding white Christians) keeping this country afloat.  The implied message was that if we continue to be a country of “takers” we are doomed, and obviously the only remedy was to vote for Republicans (don’t you just love a veiled threat).  Even after the election, this idea, this meme, continues to have traction on the Right, as well as with Ebenezer Scrooge, Voldemort, Sauron, and Satan (or as Karl Rove refers to him, the Dark Prince).  And yet, it is completely false—nothing about it is true, and if Republicans continue repeating this ridiculous whine, the conversation won’t be about makers and takers, it’ll be about hypocrites, idiots, and assholes, and the fall of the Elephant Party.

The initial flaw in this argument is that it supposes only businessmen, stock holders, and capitalists are “makers”—in other words, owners are makers, but not workers (read: ungrateful, paid slaves).  The inconvenient truth for Republicans is that most Americans are workers, or laborers, not owners.  That these people (the worthless wage slaves) get no credit for building the wealth of this country, or even paying taxes, from Republicans, is about as insulting as it gets, unless you consider Rush Limbaugh’s stupid fucking face.  Frankly, it’s disgusting, disgraceful, and myopic, as we’ll see next.

For the fact is that workers and laborers DO pay taxes.  At the very least, they pay payroll taxes, and of those that make enough to pay federal income tax, many pay a higher percentage of their income than do the Mitt Romney’s of the world (to be fair, I have $6 in the Caymans).  Indeed, almost all of the people that don’t pay federal income taxes OR payroll taxes are either “seniors, the disabled, or students.”  Can’t you just hear the outrage from Limbaugh now?  “How dare people become old, crippled, or try to better themselves!”  It helps if you imagine him feeding his face on the roasted legs of a person in a wheelchair.  Anyway, the assertion that our seniors are freeloaders (Romney to seniors: “now your back’s gonna hurt, cause you just pulled landscaping duty!”) should have caused a massive revolt from the Republican Party, but the exit polls show otherwise, and this brings us to the next point, which is the absolute and stunning hypocrisy of the “makers and takers” claim.

Front and center is the fact that red states take in far more federal dollars than blue states.  In other words, blue state taxpayer money ends up subsidizing people living in red states; by extension, red states are far more responsible for the federal deficit and out of control spending than blue states.  So basically, if anyone’s borrowing money from China, it’s people who voted for Mitt Romney.

This becomes even more stark when we look at exit polls—remember those seniors we talked about?  Based on Fox News exit polls, Romney won the 65 and older age group 56% to Obama’s 44%, by far his biggest gap in any age demographic.  Guess who gets Social Security and Medicare?  All of those old motherfuckers—and sure, they may have been makers before, but they’re sure as hell takers now (Social Security and Medicare represent about a third of all federal spending).

So essentially, this argument Republicans are trying to make that Obama somehow won over voters by giving people federal money, or that Democrats are “takers” and Republicans are “makers” is just complete bullshit.  In truth it’s the opposite—people living in red states and seniors who voted for Romney are the biggest “takers” when it comes to federal money.  Worse, they’re really fucking stupid.  And fat.

Yet, though this narrative is, as I’ve shown, an absolute farce (like almost everything the Ebenezer Elephants dream up in their evil, twisted minds), conservative talkers and Republicans believe in it deeply.  The problem for the Elephants, is that while they’re talking about “makers” and “takers,” to those of us who are sane and not racist (at least 51%), they look like hypocrites, idiots, and assholes.

Of course, Republicans are, not surprisingly, trying to convince themselves that this election was not a repudiation of their core beliefs (like, for example, that rape is a gift from God), their platform (freedom for all, except gay people and those that don’t agree with us), or their policies (voting is an important and sacred right, unless your poor and/or black).  But I’d remind them that though the popular vote was close, go back to Romney’s biggest supporters, those 65 and over.  In the next 30 years or so, almost all of those people are going to be dead (read: skeletons in boxes, or ashes and dust)—sorry, but that is the harsh reality—and if you look at the other age demographics, the numbers are only going to get worse for the Republicans, unless they change their tune.  They should start by rejecting the nonsense of “makers vs. takers.”  Either that or produce a “New Christmas Carol” where the strong boys beat the living shit out of Tiny Tim.  Your choice assholes…

About The Author: Jay Scott


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