Blog

Politics, humor, and intellect.

Dear America

Dear America

Dear America, With your permission, I’d like to point out a few basic truths… Truth #1: United we stand. Divided we fall. Throughout our history, various Americans—including one of our greatest presidents, Abraham Lincoln—have reminded us of a basic fact: “united we stand, divided we fall.” Well friends, we’re there. We’re divided, and it’s not […]

Bring on the Pain

Bring on the Pain

To be honest, I haven’t been following the news super close lately. Besides, it’s all the same: Trump is an idiot who has no business in the Oval Office (I mean for Christ’s sake the other day he tried to take credit for building the Panama canal). His administration’s in shambles–both in terms of functioning […]

The careful curation of our cautious lives

The careful curation of our cautious lives

So I’m fresh off a meeting with my counselor—yes, I meet with a shrink—and we ended up talking about my anxiety as a writer attempting to confront… Let me stop there, because I struggle with what to call it. Comfort? Conformity? Full context: we were talking about why I feel pressure to please my parents (keep […]

Is this Good?

Is this Good?

We’ve all seen it happen before. The teacher drawn into an arguing with a student. The assistant coach questioning another coach’s instructions while working with players. The real estate agent pushing a house they can’t sell on impressionable clients. The doctor who receives samples from a pharmaceutical company and finds herself prescribing their products. The mortgage […]

The King and the Count: A Political Allegory

The King and the Count: A Political Allegory

There was once a King who’s lands were rich, luscious, and green. His people were happy, life was good. The King was rich. In fact, his lands were so productive, the King had excess grain and produce his people didn’t need. What they did need, however, was salt–so the King sent the excess food to […]

The 5 Don’ts of Social Media

The 5 Don’ts of Social Media

Rule #1: Don’t be a scroll-whore. Oh, I know—I do it too. Sitting in bed, on the couch, on the shitter, scrolling endlessly through my Twitter feed, face vapid and expressionless as a cow chewing its cud. But really, is that the point of social media? No—hence the word “social.” Yes, we want to see […]

Algorithms are ruining the internet

Algorithms are ruining the internet

I don’t know all the technical mathy shit about algorithms, but what I do know is they’re ruining the internet. Specifically social media. Especially Facebook, but especially Twitter. I’m new to Instagram, but I’ll just assume it’s ruining that too. So what are algorithms? I’m sure many of you know, but it’s worth a quick […]

Make America Normal Again

Make America Normal Again

I just had a vision. A crazy, remarkable, truly wondrous epiphany. In fact, I can’t believe I’m the first person to have thought of this… ok, here it is—ready? Be a normal person. That’s it. Just be normal. No more conspiracy theories from reddit or InfoWars. No more pretending fake fucking news is real news […]