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Politics, humor, and intellect.

What Oregonians Should Eclipse

What Oregonians Should Eclipse

In all this excitement about the eclipse, it seems Oregonians have missed something. A tremendous opportunity actually—and we have no one to blame but ourselves. For while businesses rake in millions in extra revenue from the surplus visitors, Oregon’s state coffers get nothing—not directly anyway… because we don’t have a sales tax. And look, I […]

Millennials aren’t the problem. It’s their parents (and grandparents).

Millennials aren’t the problem. It’s their parents (and grandparents).

There’s a reason we see so many articles bemoaning the case of the millennials, including the inevitable swipe at avocado toast (which is fucking delicious). Pure clickbait. The elderly, while enjoying their single-payer healthcare (Medicare), basic incomes (Social Security) and pensions, want to understand why these mooching, lazy, takers want single-payer, affordable college, and decent wages. […]

Dear America

Dear America

Dear America, With your permission, I’d like to point out a few basic truths… Truth #1: United we stand. Divided we fall. Throughout our history, various Americans—including one of our greatest presidents, Abraham Lincoln—have reminded us of a basic fact: “united we stand, divided we fall.” Well friends, we’re there. We’re divided, and it’s not […]

Bring on the Pain

Bring on the Pain

To be honest, I haven’t been following the news super close lately. Besides, it’s all the same: Trump is an idiot who has no business in the Oval Office (I mean for Christ’s sake the other day he tried to take credit for building the Panama canal). His administration’s in shambles–both in terms of functioning […]

The careful curation of our cautious lives

The careful curation of our cautious lives

So I’m fresh off a meeting with my counselor—yes, I meet with a shrink—and we ended up talking about my anxiety as a writer attempting to confront… Let me stop there, because I struggle with what to call it. Comfort? Conformity? Full context: we were talking about why I feel pressure to please my parents (keep […]

Is this Good?

Is this Good?

We’ve all seen it happen before. The teacher drawn into an arguing with a student. The assistant coach questioning another coach’s instructions while working with players. The real estate agent pushing a house they can’t sell on impressionable clients. The doctor who receives samples from a pharmaceutical company and finds herself prescribing their products. The mortgage […]

The King and the Count: A Political Allegory

The King and the Count: A Political Allegory

There was once a King who’s lands were rich, luscious, and green. His people were happy, life was good. The King was rich. In fact, his lands were so productive, the King had excess grain and produce his people didn’t need. What they did need, however, was salt–so the King sent the excess food to […]

The 5 Don’ts of Social Media

The 5 Don’ts of Social Media

Rule #1: Don’t be a scroll-whore. Oh, I know—I do it too. Sitting in bed, on the couch, on the shitter, scrolling endlessly through my Twitter feed, face vapid and expressionless as a cow chewing its cud. But really, is that the point of social media? No—hence the word “social.” Yes, we want to see […]