Canada for the win: why you shouldn’t flake out early in relationships

This is post another night of going out trying to meet women and failing.

Alas.

Although, I have to say, I was surprised to learn I’ve still got some game. We met these really cute girls from Vancouver and I made the approach–even got a phone number–but they wanted to leave to go to a hip hop club.

They invited us to come, which was cool, but Steve and I elected not to go. Reflecting on it now, that was pretty dumb. And it’s the first lesson we can take about one of the reasons people fail when they go out: flaking out early.

FLAKING OUT EARLY

You and your friends get to the club, the bar, the restaurant–whatever–and wham, right away you meet these great guys/girls. Flirting happens, shots are purchased, and there’s even some casual physical contact (brushing hands or pushing on his shoulder like “you’re SO funny”). Unfortunately, their agenda isn’t the same as your own. Perhaps, like last night for me, you exchange numbers in case you want to meet up later–maybe not–but at the time you and your friends don’t care much because the night is young and there are so many beautiful people up in the club, so why worry? Right?

Problems:

A) This is the least drunk you will be all night. Decisions aren’t going to get better after this point. Nor is your game.

B) Genuine connections and mutual interest are rare–especially with randoms. After we met the Canadian girls, we hit on several other groups of women, but they weren’t interested–not as in like, get the fuck out of here not interested–just casually disinterested, for whatever reason. And that’s OK, but we didn’t find any better options the rest of the night.

C) Over the course of the evening, people get both more selective and cynical. By midnight, something’s probably happened that pissed them off: like the douchy bartender at Digapony last night with fucking neck tattoos who just kept walking right on past when I was trying to order a drink, or the fat, stupid bouncer wouldn’t let Steve into Kell’s because he thought he was too drunk (in point of fact, he wasn’t–the bouncer was just being a fucking stooge). But I imagine for women, it’s the guy who doesn’t take the hint you’re not interested, your friend who got too drunk too early and now you’re the baby sitter, or someone you’re interested who ends up dancing with someone else. That happens to dudes too. You hit it off with someone beautiful and then she ends up hanging out with some other dude. Fuck.

Point is, there are a bunch of shitty things that can happen to one while at a bar trying to have a good time, because a lot of women are teases, a lot of men are goons, and people in general are much less self-aware than they ought to be.

So like I said: by midnight, people are more drunk, yes, but also more selective and cynical.

One of the girls last night–Anya–was already cynical, and it was only like 10pm. She was really pretty too. They all were.

Steve–we failed.

Ahhhh, regrets.

D) Even if you do choose to maintain the early connection with the hotties, it’s hard to sustain over a long period of time. Inevitably, in any large group, there’s going to be someone who winds up unhappy or annoyed and will then push to end the connection. I mean, how often does it magically happen there’s an even ratio of men to women and everyone is good looking enough to hook up with anyone else in the group? And say you meet them at 10:30–going to to even 1am is two and a half hours with people you’ve never met before. You better be pretty fucking interesting and entertaining. Right?

So the lesson here: don’t break the connection.

Go: Jeff and Steve. Go with the girls from Canada. Even if it doesn’t work out with them, it might work out with someone else along the way.

And then, you already look confident and successful because you showed up with cute girls.

Also, in the short time for which we were acquaintances, those Canadian girls rocked.

Minus points for the Americans.

If you enjoyed this piece, please like, share, retweet–whatever the fuck it is you do. Get the word out for me, and thanks. Oh, BTW, I also have a book called Cherry City Pulp. If you like this you’ll like it. Click on the link to find out more.

About The Author: Jay Scott

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